What will tomorrow bring?

Well, we were lucky enough to get an appointment with the pediatric dermatologist tomorrow morning at 8:30 in Denver. They are waiting to authorize an MRI until we’ve had a consultation with a doctor. I am very grateful. At the same time, I am freaked out. What will happen? What will they tell us? Is your little sister going to be ok? There are so many things running through my mind right now…it’s no wonder I can’t sleep. I’m hoping we will have an uneventful trip down there and that things will be laid out as simply as they can be and that little Abigail will be just fine. I am also realistic (or maybe it’s pessimistic) enough to know that may or may not be the case.

I’m hoping that this isn’t the last picture I took of your little sister before we knew she had major issues.
I can’t even pray. I just can’t. I am grateful for all of the prayers offered on our behalf, but I just can’t pray right now. All of the “what ifs” are running through my mind and I can’t fathom something being wrong with her. What would I do? I know that God loves her and loves me, but come on…I just want to get a break. I just want things to be normal…I mean really “normal” for once. So for now, I’ll just ride along on the prayers of others. I believe that God understands where I am right now. I believe that regardless of my inability to put together any semblance of a prayer, He is still carrying me through this difficult time. At least, that’s what I hope. I do pray/hope that your little sister will be fine. But what if she’s not?

Where will I go from here? What will I do? What will tomorrow bring? Will it bring any answers or will they need to run tests? I just can’t process all of it right now. I am hoping for answers but I also know that just looking at her little head may not be enough. I know that there will be a lot of people praying for us while we are down there and that’s exactly what we need. Like I said, I’m relying on the prayers of others to carry me through this.

I feel like there are a million things running through my head right now but for some reason I am not really able to put them into logical thoughts that can be written out. I’m sure that’s from the stress of it all and from being exhausted. It doesn’t help either that we are leaving for the appointment in just seven short hours and I still haven’t gotten to sleep.

We are really lucky to have such wonderful friends. Some of those friends volunteered to have your big sister stay with them tonight so she wouldn’t have to get up super early in the morning. So, I was over at their house for a while tonight just hanging out and then she didn’t want to go to sleep so I had to spend more time than I had anticipated trying to get her to sleep so she wouldn’t be scared. The work of a mommy is never done, that’s for sure! I just hope she sleeps ok and that she doesn’t wake up scared during the night or in the morning.

Well, I suppose…I’m definitely not getting to sleep any faster by just sitting her typing. I will talk to you again soon, Carter. I love you. Sweet dreams.