It makes me cry

This song has made me cry each and every time I have heard it. And to see Matt Hammitt talking about it brings me to tears even today.

"All of Me" from Ryan Lynch on Vimeo.

I would give you all of me, Carter. I'd give every last bit of myself if it would bring you back. I would give all of myself for your sisters too. It makes my heart ache to think about it, but I would. I would do anything for my kiddos and I am grateful to a wonderful God that allows me to love you like this. He has taught me how to love you because He loves me even more.

You are worth every fallen tear and facing every fear. You will know all my love even if it is not enough. - Oh my goodness I feel tight in my stomach and chest whenever I hear those words. I think those are the words that every parent has in their hearts when it comes to their kids, but to hear them sung so beautifully brings me to my knees. I would have thought it was impossible to live through losing you. And I would have thought it was impossible to survive more than 20 months after losing you, but here I am. Here I am living my life with two beautiful, amazing daughters that I get to kiss and hug and love on each and every single day. And here I am with a son who lives in heaven, yet continues to teach me things on a daily basis. You remind me every day to appreciate the things I have, Carter. You remind me that life is so incredibly fragile and that each smile and each giggle should be coveted. You remind me that I am blessed beyond measure. And I am reminded also that surviving tragedy is possible. It isn't easy and it isn't fun, but it is possible. I am here today and for that I am grateful.

Thank you again for teaching me, Carter. Thank you for loving me from afar. Thank you for being the best son a mommy could ask for. I wish I could kiss you and "cheese your squeaks" (Instead of squeeze your cheeks. That's a funny thing that your Nana said once upon a time and it has since stuck around in our family.)

Thank you for helping me learn what it means to truly give all of myself. Thank you for giving all of yourself - Oh my God that makes me cry to even write it - so that I can love and appreciate others more. You mean the world to me, Carter. You make life worth living. I love you.