Hi Carter.
Well, let me start with the positives. We just celebrated Christmas and your big sister had a blast. Your little sister, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to it all. But what can you expect for a first Christmas right?!? We had a very nice time with your Nana and Bumpa. And we even had some unexpected visitors when you Grandpa, Grandma and Uncle showed up. It was fast and furious. It was crazy busy. It was a great couple of days.
Then it happened...last night I was putting our Christmas stuff away (early I know) and when I was putting your ornaments away I realized something...
I didn't go visit you on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. And it had taken me until around 4pm on the 26th to even realize it. =- ( I felt, and still feel, horrible. The worst part of it is, I still haven't gotten out there and it's 1:30 on the 27th. I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!
In reality there is no excuse for my forgetfulness. I feel horrible about it. I didn't forget about you, I promise! I thought about you a lot! I don't even know what to say other than I am super, duper sorry and I will do everything in my power to never let it happen again. I would like to make excuses by saying we were busy and that time just got away from me. And that is the truth, but I still forgot to visit you. =- (
I am going to hopefully leave work a few minutes early today so I can go see you before I pick your sisters up. I love you little one and I am so sorry!
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I don't think you have to go visit the cemetery to be a good mom to Carter. I think you were probably being the best mom you could be to him and to his sisters by being busy and celebrating the joy in your life. And even though you didn't physically visit his grave, it's clear that you never forgot him for a moment. That's what counts. That's what keeps his memory alive. And that's all you have to do to be a good mom to him.
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