Hi there little boy. It's another day today and I can't even put into words how I am feeling. It hurts so bad today to think about you being gone. I feel bad too because I bought this journal so I could write happy things in it and all I have really told you are sad stories. I had a dream last night that I was at your funeral again but they had you outside of your casket and you were laying there all funny. It was a sad dream. I wish I could dream good things. I don't understand why my brain is processing things the way that it is right now.
Today was my third day back to work and it is definitely getting better but still when I leave I don't want to be around people for the rest of the day. I am completely overwhelmed. I feel horrible because I'm crabby all of the time an don't know how to change it. I've been getting more connected with people through NILMDTS and I don't know if it is helping or hurting me. I feel horrible that reading about the journey of other people helps me feel better.
My goodness I miss you.
How is it possible for me to be such a different person than I was only 6 weeks ago?
I found out at work that 62 people donated sick leave to me. I can't believe it...62 people cared enough about me to do that. It's hard for me to understand how I can mean even that much to people when I feel like I don't mean enough to the world to have you here. It's just not fair.
Did you know that I wanted you?
Did you know that I love you?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment