January 1, 2010

Happy New Year, Carter!



I'm sorry I didn't write to you yesterday. I really wanted to but by the end of the day, I just went to sleep. So, I will just have to wish you a happy new year today!

Yesterday was a big day, little boy. You welcomed a very special friend yesterday. Little James went home to heaven after almost 10 months of blessing the world. I know you were there to welcome him. Are you showing him all of your favorite parts of heaven? I bet you are!

Yesterday on my way to work, I knew you were going to take care of him because I saw a huge flock of geese flying with one a little further out front than usual. I knew it was you leading all of your friends to James. I bet you had a huge party. Be sure to give him some extra special love from his family ok? They had him for so long here, I can't even imagine how much they miss him.

Yesterday was also a big day because we found out that you are going to be a big brother. We couldn't believe it. Your little brother or sister will be born sometime near your first heavenly birthday. thanks for helping us out on this, buddy. It sure is a blessing. I want to remind you again that we are not and couldn't ever replace you. That would be impossible. We do want another baby to hold here on Earth though. I love you, Carter and you will always be my second born, by first son, my little goose! I love you!



And to tell you the truth, this is what I needed to really be able to let 2009 go. You see, 2009 was the year I was pregnant with you. It was the year I carried you inside of me. It was the year I held you in my arms and told you to your sweet little face that I love you. It is also the year you died. It is the year you earned your wings. What a year! How could I let that go? Truth is, I never will.

But, 2010 holds the promise of new life. It holds hope and requires all of my faith. It is the year that I have already been blessed with my sixth child. Wow. I can't believe that. Six babies. One living kiddo, four in heaven and one just beginning inside of me.

Life is a miracle, Carter. All life deserves to be celebrated. Please watch out for your new little brother or sister for me. And have fun up there with James. His mommy is fun, so I am sure he is too!

I love you, buddy! Happy New Year!