Hey Buddy. I was cleaning up after supper tonight and I came to a realization. A realization that I am sure I have had before, but none-the-less, a realization that about made me cry.
I don't even know what triggered it, but I realized that I will never get to teach you about God. I will never get to tell you about God loving you or about God sending His son just for YOU! Because He loves you that much. Because even if you were the only person on the entire earth, He would still have sent Jesus, just for you. That is amazing. There are so many other things I wish I could teach you about Him too, like what heaven will be like...the stories are endless!
But then I realized that something even greater has come from this. You already know all of that stuff. And you learned it from God Himself! What a blessing. What an amazing gift. And to make it even better, I am learning more about God because of you. Every day I am learning about His love for me and about His desire for my life. He wants me to learn more about Him and to long for His love and comfort each and every minute of the day. And I truly find myself doing that. I need Him, Carter. I need Him to get throught the days without you. I need Him to comfort me. I need Him to love me and hold me as I grieve for you. I don't get why you are gone. I never will. But there is one thing that I do know, and that is God loves ME. And God sent His son to earth for ME! That is an amazing thing. He loves me, Carter. And He loves you. And you know all of that without me even ever having to tell you any of it. I'm jealous, but I'm still sad that I didn't get to teach you any of it. So for now, I will just pray. I will pray that you know I love you and that you know I miss you. Please wait for me, Carter. And when I get there, will you please teach me all about Jesus? I can't wait to hear it from you. It will be amazing.
I love you, baby boy.
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