Special Door Hangers - January 20, 2010

Hi little one. I love you.

Well, today was a rough day in some ways and a wonderful day in others.

Your sister woke up super crabby and came home from daycare super crabby too. That makes for a rough one, let me tell you. The poor little girl ended up going to bed at 6:30 tonight so hopefully she will feel better tomorrow.

There were good things today though too. Ben's mommy went in for an ultrasound on their little "Jitterbug". I prayed and prayed and prayed for her and am still since I haven't heard how it went yet. I also found out today that your Bumpa has a job interview in Laramie on Friday. So, he and Nana are going to come visit us for the weekend and your nana will be able to go to our doctor's appointment on Friday. It will be nice to have her there. Then I got some of the greatest news I have ever heard in all of my life today. One of your friends is going to be a big brother! It is such a blessing. And the even more exciting part is that her baby is due just one week before our baby is due. So, we will get to go through our pregnancies together. We get to pray for eachother and talk to eachother and just be there for eachother and try not to worry. We were talking on the phone today about learning to trust God more and know that His plan is perfect for us, no matter what it may include. I'm so excited! I also came up with a nickname for our little baby. It will be Squiggles until further notice. ;) I have no idea why that name is the one I picked, but it seems like a fun name so that's what it is!

I also went out for supper/dessert with some friends tonight. It was nice to sit and chat with them. I feel bad because I kinda dominated the conversation with stories about you and my life. I guess I needed to talk. I was able to ask your Aunt Amanda a question tonight that I had been wondering about for quite some time now. Some of my mommy friends have mentioned hospitals putting special door hangers on their doors when they were in the hospital with their little babies that had died and I was curious as to whether or not I had something special on my door. She said yes. I can't remember specifically how she described it but I think she said it was a purple leaf (upside down maybe) with a tear on it. I asked her if I could get one of them to put in your memory box. That would be one more thing to remember you by and I think it would be pretty special.

So, I had a pretty busy day. I am completely wiped out in every way imaginable. I'm emotionally drained. I'm physically exhausted. So, I'm going to go to sleep early tonight. I'm hoping I sleep better than I have the last couple of nights. Thankfully tonight is your daddy's last night working for a little while. It's rough on him, I know, and it's rough on your sister and me too. I don't think anyone should ever have to work 8 days straight on a midnight shift. But oh well right?!?! I know there's nothing I can do about it so I try no to complain. I sure do love you daddy though. He was super helpful with your sister this evening especially. He's a great daddy and an even better husband.

Well, I suppose I should get some rest. I love you, Carter. I miss you a lot today. I think I'm going to try to visit you again tomorrow. Sweet dreams little one. I love you with all that I am.