Quite a Scare - February 22, 2010

Well Carter, your little brother/sister gave us quite a scare yesterday. I woke up and was bleeding and then we couldn't find his/her heartbeat. Our doctor had told us not to worry if we couldn't find the heartbeat this early, but that combined with bleeding sent me over the edge. So I called your Aunt Amanda and asked her which doctor was on call this weekend. When she told me it was my doctor, that made my mind up. So at 7:15 on a Sunday morning, I called and woke my poor doctor up. I couldn't stop crying. When he asked me how much blood, I told him it probably wasn't enough that a normal person would worry, but for me, I was worried sick. Then my doctor, who is one of the most wonderful people on the face of the planet told me to meet him at the clinic at 9:00 and he would do an ultrasound for us.

I didn't eat or drink before hand because I wanted to have an empty stomach just in case I needed to go to the hospital for surgery.

So, at 9 we were at the clinic waiting for the doctor to get there. He met us and I was feeling so guilty about calling him. He did the ultrasound though and right away he saw the baby's heartbeat. Your daddy and I (and the doctor too I think) was relieved. Everything is just fine in there. When we were leaving the clinic I apologized for calling him and thanked him over and over again for seeing us. He told me that considering my history, he was definitely ok with coming in on a Sunday morning to do the ultrasound for us. He's such a great guy! There's no major concern about the bleeding and last night I was able to find the baby's heartbeat again with our at-home doppler.

So, today I'm just going to take it easy at work and hope that my nerves get calmed down a bit more. The thought of losing another baby is unfathomable to me. Before we found out the baby was ok yesterday I thought to myself, could I seriously lose my FIFTH child and only have one living child? The negative thoughts definitely take over some times. But, then there are wonderful people out there like our doctor who take time out of their Sunday to set our minds at ease. I'm so grateful.

Love you little boy.