Hey you. Well, I did it. I held a baby tonight. I faced that fear. I got a little teary eyed when we walked in and I first saw him but I did it. I looked at him and couldn't believe how little he seemed. Your daddy and I were talking on the way home about how eventhough he weighed two pounds more than you when he was born he looked so tiny. I told your daddy that you just seemed larger than life. In my mind and in my memory you fill my arms. It made me miss you. It made it all very real again. I don't really know what to make of the entire situation. I'm proud of myself for holding him and for jumping over the huge hurdle of holding a little one again. I am just proud of taking that step. And maybe next time, it won't be so hard. But if it is, then I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Until then, I'll just remember my larger than life little boy that waits for me in heaven. You are my blessing, Carter.
Other than that, life has been pretty uneventful. Your Bumpa did get that job in Laramie. He starts working down here on the 22nd of this month. Nana will stay up in South Dakota until the house sells and then she will head down here. We are super excited to have them close to us. It will be great to have them around.
Well sweet boy, I suppose I should get going. Thank you for loving me and for being there for me today when I held the baby. I needed you, and you were there, I just know it. Thank you for that.
Sweet dreams love of mine. I hope you will have fun up there tonight with all of your friends. Take care, buddy boy. I love you!
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You should be pleased with yourself Sara. I remember how difficult that was for me to do. After ... I left and cried and it was just one more time I learned that crying was the universal sign for "I'll get your husband!" Thoughts and prayers. :o)
ReplyDeleteKimberly
I am very proud of you I know what a hurdle it is and you did it. I love you girly very much keep your chin up and rub your belly for me
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how difficult that must have been for you! But once again you rose to the challenge and faced your fear. You are truly inspiring, Sara and I could never tell you that enough. You are one incredible, living testimony.
ReplyDeleteI love you!